I have innumerable times heard girl friends complain endlessly about how complicated guys are! In truth, I am guilty as well. Sadly, I hate to disagree, but men are not in the least complicated. In fact, guys are so non-complicated that to us we think "there must be more to the story!" Unfortunately, there is not. Most of the time, when a guy says something, more times than not, he genuinely means it.
Guys are actually quite simple, WE are the complicated ones. We over-analyze the subject. A lot of the time we think of all the outcomes, the contingencies, and the "what ifs." American author and columnist Dave Barry quoted "The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically." When a guy says he's tired, he's just tired. There's usually not a reason behind it, other than he's simply tired.
Here is the reasoning behind the theory. Men's intrinsic needs and desires NEVER change – ours change drastically on a regular basis because of one simple thing: our emotions. I actually feel as though I am throwing women under the bus here, but we are most commonly driven by emotions. They change from day to day, hour to hour, minute to minute. Ladies, have you ever wrote an email one day, sent it, then read it the next day or years later and thought "what was i thinking?" I would be lying if I said that I hadn't. We tend to do things impulsively, rather than calm ourselves, then make a decision. When we are waiting endlessly for a response (analyzing every moment) men are simply thinking of the most logical retort.
Men, more commonly depend on their logic. Not to say men don't waver on their decisions with a small amount of emotion. However, it usually falls back to the more logical decision. In conclusion Ladies, remember the next time you decide to dissect a man, ask yourself how much you have changed and how much he has changed?
<3
Kaila Kenyon
xoxo
*NOTE... ALL that is written is STRICTLY an OPINION of myself or whomever it has been written by. It is only an observation and should not be taken in an absolution or replacement but an addition to your own thoughts and ideas :)
Sunday, 24 July 2011
Thursday, 21 July 2011
Man Up.. For The Love of God!
"Nice Guy's Finish Last... Or Do They?"
I have many guy friends who claim they are that "nice guy". They are the guys who have all the gorgeous women as just friends. They have every guy and girl tell them "Don't worry man, one day a chick will appreciate you for who you are! You're ahead of the game!" Well, yes it's true... To a point. Rachel Khona, the self proclaimed "Single Girl" from Askmen.com has written an insightful article about said situation:
You’ve heard the lament before: Women complain about men behaving like douchebags, yet they go back time and time again to the guy who doesn’t shower them with roses or worship the ground they walk on. Meanwhile, you’re trying your best to be Mr. Nice Guy and you end up in the “friend” category. So what gives? Why do nice guys finish last?
Nice Guys Don’t Seem Like Good Protectors
Maybe it goes back to the days of our cave-dwelling ancestors, but historically, men have always protected women. Nice guys don’t seem like they can defend themselves, much less a woman. There might not be giant woolly mammoths trying to take us out, but there are still burglars and bad guys, and women want to feel like the guy they’re with can take care of them.
Nice Guys Try Too Hard
Nice guys put women on a pedestal, acting as if she’s some sort of goddess. They go overboard with their affection. They come on too strong, too quick. They put aside their own needs for her. Women are human, too, and we don’t want to be put on a pedestal that’s easy to fall off of.
Nice Guys Are Predictable
Many people lead pretty predictable lives. They get married, have two kids, go to work, retire. Women don’t want to add to that by dating a guy who is going to be so predictable they know his every move. Everyone likes a little excitement and spontaneity. Women want to know that they’re going to have fun with the guy they’re with, not have a snooze fest.
Nice Guys Seem Like Doormats
Nice guys almost never speak up when something irks them and rarely state what they want or need for fear that conflict will result in losing their friend or girlfriend. Letting people walk all over you without setting up any boundaries signals that you probably don’t have a backbone. No spine equals no respect. It’s hard to respect a guy who lets other people treat him poorly. Plus, if you’re too afraid to rock the boat, it signals that you probably won’t stand up for her either. And that is not attractive to any woman.
Nice Guys Expect Niceness
Nice guys expect that because they are so super-sweet that people should respond to them in kind. But the problem is they allow their own emotions and feelings to take a back seat, for the sake of other people, and when other people don’t reciprocate, they play the part of the victim. No woman wants to deal with a guy with a martyr complex. It was fitting for Joan of Arc, not the man you’re dating.
Nice Guys Seem Fake
Nice guys can come across as being too nice. Even Nelson Mandela had an edge. No one can be that saccharine sweet all the time unless they’re a saint. If you’re too nice to everyone who crosses your path, it comes across as fake, rather than genuine, niceness. You can’t like everyone or be happy in every situation, so if you find yourself putting on a perpetual happy face it might be time to re-examine your real feelings and let them show. It demonstrates that you’re a real person with actual feelings and not just interested in putting on an act.
Nice Guys Are Not A Challenge
Nice guys make it easy to dress in sweats and eat potato chips on the couch. You get the feeling they’ll never leave so you don’t bother to look good because you don’t think it will even matter. Women want to be with someone who is going to present a challenge; it keeps the relationship on its toes. Challenge our ideas, debate us, makes us work. It makes the relationship more interesting.
Nice Guys Seem Insecure
Nice guys come across as so anxious to be liked and accepted that you never know if they actually like you or just want to be with you because you actually paid attention to them. On the other hand, to women looking for a quick ego fix or just a free drink, nice guys read “sucker." Nice guys are easy to take advantage of and score freebies from. You teach people how to treat you, so if you act insecure and needy, people (and that includes women) will treat you as such. Insecurity is a major turnoff.
Nice Guys Don’t Seem Like Good Lays
Being a nice guy hardly bodes well for being good in bed. Women enjoy being with a man who can take control and deliver the goods. Being soft, sweet and gentle all the time isn’t the sexiest vibe. A woman wants to know that a guy is going to ravish her, not treat her like a piece of china in bed.
Nice Guys Don’t Behave Like Men
Nice guys think that by always asking her for her opinion they’re being sensitive, but many times they’re just being annoying. Women want a guy who can take charge and choose the restaurant, create a plan and make a decision. Always asking her to make a decision is irritating and makes you seem like you don’t have a pair of balls.
The bottom line? You don’t have to be an arrogant prick to land a hot babe, but you do have to have a backbone. You have to like yourself, feel confident and be able to stand up for yourself. Most women don’t really want a true bad boy, unless they’re mentally unstable. We just want a guy we can respect and who will respect us without kissing our ass 24/7. Women love a guy who treats them well, but we also love men with guts and the ability to speak up for themselves. Women want to feel protected and know that the guy they’re with will have their back, no matter what. Saying that women don’t like you because you’re a “nice guy” is a cop-out. Chances are it’s not simply because you’re nice; it’s because you’re behaving like a doormat.
There ya go guys! You can be the nice guy but not be the nice guy who gets trampled on!
<3
Kaila Kenyon
xoxo
*NOTE... ALL that is written is STRICTLY an OPINION of myself or whomever it has been written by. It is only an observation and should not be taken in an absolution or replacement but an addition to your own thoughts and ideas :)
I have many guy friends who claim they are that "nice guy". They are the guys who have all the gorgeous women as just friends. They have every guy and girl tell them "Don't worry man, one day a chick will appreciate you for who you are! You're ahead of the game!" Well, yes it's true... To a point. Rachel Khona, the self proclaimed "Single Girl" from Askmen.com has written an insightful article about said situation:
You’ve heard the lament before: Women complain about men behaving like douchebags, yet they go back time and time again to the guy who doesn’t shower them with roses or worship the ground they walk on. Meanwhile, you’re trying your best to be Mr. Nice Guy and you end up in the “friend” category. So what gives? Why do nice guys finish last?
Nice Guys Don’t Seem Like Good Protectors
Maybe it goes back to the days of our cave-dwelling ancestors, but historically, men have always protected women. Nice guys don’t seem like they can defend themselves, much less a woman. There might not be giant woolly mammoths trying to take us out, but there are still burglars and bad guys, and women want to feel like the guy they’re with can take care of them.
Nice Guys Try Too Hard
Nice guys put women on a pedestal, acting as if she’s some sort of goddess. They go overboard with their affection. They come on too strong, too quick. They put aside their own needs for her. Women are human, too, and we don’t want to be put on a pedestal that’s easy to fall off of.
Nice Guys Are Predictable
Many people lead pretty predictable lives. They get married, have two kids, go to work, retire. Women don’t want to add to that by dating a guy who is going to be so predictable they know his every move. Everyone likes a little excitement and spontaneity. Women want to know that they’re going to have fun with the guy they’re with, not have a snooze fest.
Nice Guys Seem Like Doormats
Nice guys almost never speak up when something irks them and rarely state what they want or need for fear that conflict will result in losing their friend or girlfriend. Letting people walk all over you without setting up any boundaries signals that you probably don’t have a backbone. No spine equals no respect. It’s hard to respect a guy who lets other people treat him poorly. Plus, if you’re too afraid to rock the boat, it signals that you probably won’t stand up for her either. And that is not attractive to any woman.
Nice Guys Expect Niceness
Nice guys expect that because they are so super-sweet that people should respond to them in kind. But the problem is they allow their own emotions and feelings to take a back seat, for the sake of other people, and when other people don’t reciprocate, they play the part of the victim. No woman wants to deal with a guy with a martyr complex. It was fitting for Joan of Arc, not the man you’re dating.
Nice Guys Seem Fake
Nice guys can come across as being too nice. Even Nelson Mandela had an edge. No one can be that saccharine sweet all the time unless they’re a saint. If you’re too nice to everyone who crosses your path, it comes across as fake, rather than genuine, niceness. You can’t like everyone or be happy in every situation, so if you find yourself putting on a perpetual happy face it might be time to re-examine your real feelings and let them show. It demonstrates that you’re a real person with actual feelings and not just interested in putting on an act.
Nice Guys Are Not A Challenge
Nice guys make it easy to dress in sweats and eat potato chips on the couch. You get the feeling they’ll never leave so you don’t bother to look good because you don’t think it will even matter. Women want to be with someone who is going to present a challenge; it keeps the relationship on its toes. Challenge our ideas, debate us, makes us work. It makes the relationship more interesting.
Nice Guys Seem Insecure
Nice guys come across as so anxious to be liked and accepted that you never know if they actually like you or just want to be with you because you actually paid attention to them. On the other hand, to women looking for a quick ego fix or just a free drink, nice guys read “sucker." Nice guys are easy to take advantage of and score freebies from. You teach people how to treat you, so if you act insecure and needy, people (and that includes women) will treat you as such. Insecurity is a major turnoff.
Nice Guys Don’t Seem Like Good Lays
Being a nice guy hardly bodes well for being good in bed. Women enjoy being with a man who can take control and deliver the goods. Being soft, sweet and gentle all the time isn’t the sexiest vibe. A woman wants to know that a guy is going to ravish her, not treat her like a piece of china in bed.
Nice Guys Don’t Behave Like Men
Nice guys think that by always asking her for her opinion they’re being sensitive, but many times they’re just being annoying. Women want a guy who can take charge and choose the restaurant, create a plan and make a decision. Always asking her to make a decision is irritating and makes you seem like you don’t have a pair of balls.
The bottom line? You don’t have to be an arrogant prick to land a hot babe, but you do have to have a backbone. You have to like yourself, feel confident and be able to stand up for yourself. Most women don’t really want a true bad boy, unless they’re mentally unstable. We just want a guy we can respect and who will respect us without kissing our ass 24/7. Women love a guy who treats them well, but we also love men with guts and the ability to speak up for themselves. Women want to feel protected and know that the guy they’re with will have their back, no matter what. Saying that women don’t like you because you’re a “nice guy” is a cop-out. Chances are it’s not simply because you’re nice; it’s because you’re behaving like a doormat.
There ya go guys! You can be the nice guy but not be the nice guy who gets trampled on!
<3
Kaila Kenyon
xoxo
*NOTE... ALL that is written is STRICTLY an OPINION of myself or whomever it has been written by. It is only an observation and should not be taken in an absolution or replacement but an addition to your own thoughts and ideas :)
Wednesday, 20 July 2011
An Introduction...
First off, since the day I could talk... There was no turning back! Forever, I will be known as the chatty redhead. And for a long time I remember thinking it was a negative thing! My teachers would make me sit on my hands (I talk with my hands), send me out in the hallway for a "time out" (to which I would talk to the hall wanderers), and make me stand in front of the class to profess what I was saying in "silence" to "embarrass" me (little did they know, most of the time I was okay with the entire class knowing!). Like I said, there was really no way to stop it. I have always loved to read, write, text, email, chat and talk on the phone for hours on end. Communication is my lifeline through love, life, family, and friends! I have moved many times and through this "Chatty Kathy" persona I have embodied, I have been fortunate to stay in contact with the people I have met along the way.
Through the years, I have found that this love of communication has stemmed from a general love and interest in the people I enjoy this beautiful life with.
I have always had many friends and because of the interest I show in the lives of my peers, I am always being asked for advice. Guys and girls alike. Many of my friends, like myself, are ALWAYS confused with the opposite sex. I often have my guy friends ask for advice on their girlfriends and vice versa. Truthfully, I enjoy it too.
So, the birth of "Ginger Snaps". The advice, or sometimes articles, I have or will come across that may come as help and understanding to fellow readers. I will gather information from such places like Cosmopolitan, Maxim, Askmen.com, friends, family or books that artists have already wrote. A "What He Needs To Know/What She Needs To Know" about the opposite sex. A compilation of answers! I hope anything or everything you find upon reading my blog will assist you in this adventure we call life!
<3
Kaila Kenyon
xoxo
*NOTE... ALL that is written is STRICTLY an OPINION of myself or whomever it has been written by. It is only an observation and should not be taken in an absolution or replacement but an addition to your own thoughts and ideas :)
Through the years, I have found that this love of communication has stemmed from a general love and interest in the people I enjoy this beautiful life with.
I have always had many friends and because of the interest I show in the lives of my peers, I am always being asked for advice. Guys and girls alike. Many of my friends, like myself, are ALWAYS confused with the opposite sex. I often have my guy friends ask for advice on their girlfriends and vice versa. Truthfully, I enjoy it too.
So, the birth of "Ginger Snaps". The advice, or sometimes articles, I have or will come across that may come as help and understanding to fellow readers. I will gather information from such places like Cosmopolitan, Maxim, Askmen.com, friends, family or books that artists have already wrote. A "What He Needs To Know/What She Needs To Know" about the opposite sex. A compilation of answers! I hope anything or everything you find upon reading my blog will assist you in this adventure we call life!
<3
Kaila Kenyon
xoxo
*NOTE... ALL that is written is STRICTLY an OPINION of myself or whomever it has been written by. It is only an observation and should not be taken in an absolution or replacement but an addition to your own thoughts and ideas :)
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